evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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