If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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