Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
