Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
