I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
