I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize
