Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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