I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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