I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
