The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
