I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
