i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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