Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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