My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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