No stitches, just platelets and will power
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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