It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
