Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
