Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
