I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I love having hate sex.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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