I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
