I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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