I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
