Where is the hickey?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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