Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
