She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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