I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
