My hand turned me down
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
