well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
