what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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