Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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