I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
In America we eat man semen.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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