this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
