You smell like stripper and shame
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
