maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
