its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
