nut hugger
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize