I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
