Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize