The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
