i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
