i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
MIDGETS
????
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
