i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
