im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
