I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
