dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
