Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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