I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
