Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
