I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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