i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
