Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
