I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
