my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize