my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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