I got her a Nickelback box set.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
