i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
