Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
