you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
