I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
